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01 January 2012 @ 11:48 pm
I thought I should start off the new year by writing my very first entry for the year of 2012!

Sorry that I haven't been updating as often as I used to. I really hope that I can get back to blogging as often as I do before but it's hard when life gets so busy and hectic, especially when I am HARDLY ever home now. Seriously, I'm only home to sleep and then I'm like gone for the whole day until late at night when it's time to sleep again. Sigh. 

A lot of things have happaned in the past 2 months and it's too much for me to type everything out so to make this entry short and simple, let's just say life hasn't been so great for me in the past 2 months. Lots of arguments, stress, tears, joy, devastation and a whole bunch of other mixed emotions.

I'm hoping 2012 will be a good year and things will somehow get better.
sleepycat13 on January 2nd, 2012 09:38 pm (UTC)
Hi Lisa,
I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going that well.
Cheesy, but I guess sometimes a new year does mean a fresh start~ so I hope everything just goes super uphill from here.
In reply to your FB message, nah~ I don't have unlimited text~ still on the same old prepaid plan, haha.
Maybe when I get a real job, I'll splurge on a actual phone plan~
I am online A LOT though~ always checking facebook and stuff~ =)
Happy 2012~!
山P ♥: Otsuka Ai // Happy With Dogsweet_honeydew on January 3rd, 2012 04:44 am (UTC)
I don't think things will ever go uphill from this complicated mess business thing that I'm stuck in. lol. But it's alright. I don't care about this whole "business" thing that's going on, all I care about is if I have time to do my OWN business stuff. lol. =)

Ah ok. Maybe I should install msn on my iphone then so that we can chat online! ^_^V
simplicityo9simplicityo9 on January 3rd, 2012 04:17 pm (UTC)
you can blog when you're in the restaurant! i know it takes longer, but you're bored anyway. :P
山P ♥: Inoue Mao // Breathing For Fresh Airsweet_honeydew on January 3rd, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
But it takes me like 4 x times longer to blog on my iPhone than it is to blog on my computer at home. Sometimes I might not have all the things I need on my phone to blog (the pictures and tools) and viewing livejournal on my phone is different than on the computer....the things I can do is limited (i.e. I can't change the colour of my text, bold/italic words, and add emoticons to make my posts look pretty). I can only do plain simple updates. lol.

BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS!! My mom is planning to partner up with her friend for the restaurant so they will have equal share of ownership and her friend speaks English too so we will not need me to help her out as much and I can go back to my part-time job and have more free time to do stuff. I can help her out on the weekends for half a day or so, which means I can still get 2-3 days off since I only work 3 days at my job anyway. Plus I have time in the morning/early afternoon to do things too if I go back to my old job AND I get paid on time. Right now my mom hasn' even paid me yet and I don't know when she'll have money to pay me.
simplicityo9simplicityo9 on January 4th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
great news! how come your mom's friend would partner up? isn't the friend worried about the lack of business? or has it gotten better since school started?
山P ♥sweet_honeydew on January 5th, 2012 05:09 am (UTC)
She is worried but my mom is just trying to talk her in saying how business will go up and everything. Anyway, it's a long story. I'll tell you another time when I am FREE from this whole thing.

Something else also happened today which just made this business even worse.

Another thing is my mom hasn't been keeping her promise to give me my days off and when I ask her about them, she keep saying how I don't want to help her and everything. I am already trying my very best to help but I can only do so much. I cannot devote my WHOLE LIFE to this, I need time to do my own personal things too. Is that too selfish to ask for? And she keep saying how I'm stupid, slow, don't know how to "suck up" to the customers and blah blah blah. I don't f*cking care about all that stuff. This is not even my own business and I'm sorry I was born to be a very blunt and straightforward person. I don't know how to suck up to people "tum" them...that's just so fake. Geez, what am I now a hooker? I need to "tum" my customers to make money. I'm a very real person who just speaks whatever is on my mind and if I don't like someone/something, I won't hide it and pretend like I do. I feel like nobody is even appreciating what I'm doing what now. Everyday she just keep saying bad things about me and how I'm not a good enough to help her and all. Well, I already told her from the beginning that I was not suitable for this job but SHE was the one who thinks I can handle it because I know English. Yes, I know English but I've never done this job before and I have absolute 0% interest in doing this. I've been working 6 DAYS a week for the past 2 weeks and I have close to no personal time at all. If she thinks that I can't help her then why not set me free? Why do you have to lock me down with this stupid job and then criticize me and say all these negative things to me everyday. I'm human too you know. I HAVE FEELINGS! I'm trying my best to help her out everyday and yet all I get back is complains about how I'm not doing a good enough job. Honestly, I'm so "sum tam" right now. I'm actually crying right now as I typing this. I feel like everyday when I go to work I'm under so much pressure and I feel like I have no freedom at all. I just want to live a life doing what I want to do. Yes, I may not be good at doing this restaurant business thing but that doesn't mean I'm not good at doing other things or that I don't have talent in other areas. I just really want my life and freedom back...that's all I really want.

Edited at 2012-01-05 05:21 am (UTC)
simplicityo9simplicityo9 on January 6th, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
aw, lisa, i'm very sorry to hear all these. i don't want to sound gay but when steve jobs died, i read up a lot on him, and one of his quotes really made an impact on me. he said that things that happen now may not make sense to you, but in the future when you look back, everything will tie together. he may have lots billions of dollars in a year, been kicked out in a company, been a school drop out, etc, but when he got older and thought back, he could not have been where he was without each of those incidents.

you may not be able to see it now, but i'm sure you are in this restaurant business (even if just temporarily) for a reason. i'm sure you will benefit from this somehow. maybe you will learn something critical in life from this, you'll never know. maybe you'll meet someone important. maybe he or she will be your customer. maybe you will develop some new soft skills. as crazy as it sounds, you'll never know, you just have to believe.

stay positive. know that things happen for a reason. know that there are goods and bads to everything in life. and though the bads are jumping right in your face in this scenario, it doesn't mean that there is nothing good.

maybe your mom cares about you, but she doesn't express it the right way. my mom is like that. her way of communicating is to yell. and my family has come to learn (long long time ago) that that's just the way she is. it doesn't mean she doesn't love us, even if she does yell at everything we do.

it's really your judgment call. i'm not sure exactly just how horrible the situation is. if i were you, and my parents treated me REALLY poorly, i would not do what they tell me to do. i would call it quit one day. that is, IF my parents really treated me horribly, like a child labour.

i agree that family is family after all. i would not see my family die from starvation no matter how horrible they treat me. however, being one's mom or dad does not give them the privilege to treat their kids with disrespect. everyone should be treated with respect and dignity. if the person fails to treat you that way, you don't need to "give them face" too.

good luck with everything! update me. i'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! :)
山P ♥: Inoue Mao // Happinesssweet_honeydew on January 7th, 2012 05:59 am (UTC)
I don't think this whole business mess will ever make sense to me...it never made sense in the beginning to begin with. lol.

Anyway, mom's friend confirmed she'd partner up now and I think she's coming over next week. I'll be free sooonnnnn. I think I might take 2 weeks off before I go back to my part-time job though. I've been overworked and too stressed out for the past weeks. I need some time off to actually "rest" and get my body, soul, and mind back in one piece. Or maybe I should take a longer break and go back to work in February instead so that I have some time to do some youtube work before I get busy again. lol.